It has been 8,760 hours since I came home.

Since I left home.

It is two places now, where I am and where I was.  It is pieces of memories that float to the surface with no warning and leave me gasping for breath.

It is silence in the Mother Temple when I close my eyes and pretend that I am in the Shrines, or standing on the sea wall, or walking down broken stone paths.  I am still near the water, but instead of a warm sea I swim in the cold lake, instead of gardens I am stand in concrete city landscapes.

One year.

So much and so little has changed.  There is a little more knowledge behind my eyes, a little more heaviness in my sighs, more smiles and more quiet.  There is less need to be here and there and everywhere at once.

Work happens every day from 8 am-5 pm, Monday through Friday, just like I prayed for.  Last night I signed a short lease for a place to rest my head at night, and a closet for my clothes.  Resigned and happy.

I miss you and you and you and you and you and most especially you.

In between places and time are the photographs, the Saturday morning brunches, the days upon days at Bahji, the Friday afternoon soccer matches, Thursday nights that were never-ending, Monday’s game night and dinner, Tuesday farewells to the pilgrims, and praying my way down the mountain.

Home is a jumbled mess of prairie grass, the call to prayer, the flat roads, the mountain stairs, a million flowers, snow, sand, sky and no starlight.  Haifa and Chicago.

My eyes have seen and

my heart has known and

my faith is this: I will never be alone.

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These last few weeks have really done a number on me.  I finished up my work helping organize the 3rd Annual Baha’i Choral Festival at the Baha’i House of Worship.  The Festival was wonderful, you can read about it here, and watch the hour-long performance here.  (There were readings as well, but had to be cut out of the DVD.)  Then I moved over into another job, which is quite fun and keeps me very busy.  I’m only 4 days into it, and already feeling a bit like I did a year ago, right before International Convention.

I live out of suitcases and my car, my friends’ couch and my parent’s home.  My work is so far from home that commuting is painful.  But I get to see my friends a lot more now, and being in the city is wonderful.

On the continuing theme of my clumsiness, I knocked over a glass last weekend, and promptly sliced my finger open as I tried to rescue it.  Luckily it wasn’t too bad, and thank God for medication.

I went to a lovely wedding this past weekend.  That, combined with several friends visiting from out of town and the usual weekend festivities, created the deadly combination of no sleep, crazy meal schedules, and getting nothing done on my to-do list.  My poor to-do list is feeling quite neglected.

Twitter was sending me into a spiral of distraction, so 9 days ago I took a break.  I don’t really miss it, and I’ve stopped thinking in terms of tweets.  Maybe when things settle back down I’ll get into it again, but right now I’m enjoying the silence.

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“Raise ye a clamour like unto a roaring sea; like a prodigal cloud, rain down the grace of heaven. Lift up your voices and sing out the songs of the Abha Realm. Quench ye the fires of war, lift high the banners of peace, work for the oneness of humankind and remember that religion is the channel of love unto all peoples. Be ye aware that the children of men are sheep of God and He their loving Shepherd, that He careth tenderly for all His sheep and maketh them to feed in His own green pastures of grace and giveth them to drink from the wellspring of life. Such is the way of the Lord. Such are His bestowals. Such, from among His teachings, is His precept of the oneness of mankind.”

(Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 35)

“When eloquence of expression, beauty of sense and sweetness of composition unite with new melodies the effect is ever great, especially if it be the anthem of the verses of oneness and the songs of praise to the Lord of Glory.”

(Tablets of Abdu’l-Baha v1, p. 59)

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Just in case you were wondering, this is what I’ve been spending a lot of my time working on.
You should come, it will be great!

(For a larger version, click on the photo.)

Also read this article.

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Dear teenagers,

Leaving chewing gum on the floor of the dressing room where my new boots can step in it is not acceptable.

Neither is leaving fifteen prom dresses in a crumpled heap on the floor, forcing me to pick them up.  If you thought lifting weights was good for your arm muscles, try prom dresses.

Finally, human skin was never, ever meant to be orange. It hurts my eyes…tone it down a bit.

Sincerely,

me

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Dear teenagers,

Please note that tights should not be worn as leggings, and leggings should not be worn as pants.

Also, slobbering all over each other in public is considered to be in poor taste.

Finally, your mother called, and she would like her 80s clothes back.  Especially the acid washed jeans and shoulder pads.

Sincerely,

me

(this is the result of way too much time spent at the mall in recent months)

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So if you know of anyone that is hiring, do let me know.    I’ve got a nice little resume and work experience.  Project/Event management type jobs, preferably, but I really don’t know where I’m going to end up.  Quite fun.

That is all I’ve got for today!  Hope everyone is enjoying the last days of summer (well, in the northern Hemisphere, anyway.  Trying to remember my global readership.).

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I thought I was prepared. I had the box of cereal ready, and I remembered that I had strawberries in the fridge. I casually open the fridge to get the milk…

horrors! NO MILK!

So instead I feasted on some hummus and cheese with chips. For breakfast. haha.

——————————–Interesting topic at lunch today: What motivates people in the workplace? Some would say money, but of course we know that it is so much more than that. And then you take a unique place like the Baha’i World Centre (where I am serving), where people come to serve, not to climb the corporate ladder or start a company.How do we motivate the people around us in the workplace? People usually think of motivation in a “top-down” approach: that is, the upper levels of an organization use incentives of some kind to coax employees to work at a certain level. But what happens when employees take an active role in managing the people they report to? When they explain to their managers how they work best? When working on a team, do we take the time to figure out each other’s styles of project management or personal interaction? ——————————–I am now halfway through The Tipping Point, started Reading Lolita in Tehran, and about 1/3 of the way through Muhammad and the Course of Islam. I am having so much fun reading these books. I think I will want to read the last one a second time, since I feel like I’m getting the story, but not enough to explain to people.

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My accounting and finance professors will be happy to know that I remember some of the things they taught me.

I had a moment of shock during corporate training yesterday. I was able to answer a question about depreciation off the top of my head. I didn’t even have to think about it. This happened a few other times, as well.

Training was the epitomy of all corporate stuff I ever imagined. The swanky meeting room, glass pitchers of water tastefully scattered, notepads with the hotel logo stamped on them, and good food. I really can’t complain. I imagine if I did it every day I’d go crazy (every hotel looks the same after a while).

We played games and I sat with some “higher-ups”. I was definitely the youngest person there.

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So I get to work this weekend…as does everyone else at my company. I don’t specifically talk about work on my blog because that is just a little bit dumb. However, I do work an 8-5 job, M-F. This weekend is a special circumstance having to do with computers. Yippee. I’ve also got birthday parties and a study circle, as well as Feast.

Here is a little tidbit for you:

“Whatever the customer wants, we can get it 9 times out of 10. 99%. Is that clear?” – lunch meeting, a sales manager

Well, no one said that we’re math majors over here. Speaking of which, last night I dreamt of fractions. 5/16, 3/4, .375, etc.

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I got up from my desk this afternoon at work to grab a can of Pepsi from the refrigerator. As I walked across the salesfloor, something didn’t feel right…I wasn’t as tall as I should be!

I looked down in horror. Peeking out from under the hem of my brown slacks were…

MY BLACK FLIP-FLOPS!!

I quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed I was wearing flip-flops at work. I grabbed my soda and walked quickly back to my desk. The offending shoes were banished under the desk and I resolved not to leave my desk all afternoon.

I realized that in my rush to leave the house after lunch today, I had forgotten to put my heels back on. Not only did I commit a fashion error (hahaha) but footwear at work must be more professional.

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I have a normal job. 8 am – 5 pm, Monday-Friday. Wow.

Only 3 hours of sleep on Sunday night…extreme insomnia. In the morning on Monday we did basic form-filling-out & orientation, then had lunch with a bunch of 20-somethings in my department. I’m in Sales, so there are a good number of people my age, and most of them are very nice and personable. They even invite me to eat lunch with them! *shocked look* I also have two friends already working there (one of whom was the one who suggested the job to me).

So far I really like the people around me, and I feel like I’m already getting into the whole routine. I’m struggling with getting enough sleep, but hopefully it will balance out as I get used to getting up every morning at 6:30 am.

The commute is a killer…5 minutes down one street. Yikes. hahaha. The cafeteria food isn’t bad, but has limited selection, so I will utilize the fridge in the breakroom and warm up my meals.

I like it so far. I definitely need more sleep, though. Insomnia is hitting me really hard.

EDIT:
Last night the fuse blew in the house. Luckily, I woke up at 5 am and resent my alarm clock using my phone.

Unfortunately, I set it one hour late, so I woke up at 6 am instead of 7 am. I walked out the door at 7 am, only realizing my mistake when I saw the sky and how dark it was.

Oops. Well, at least I had time to eat breakfast, but I will be tired today.

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It appears as though I begin work tomorrow. If only the cubicles looked like this:

Too bad it is rather hard to ride a bike to work in a suit (besides the cold weather!). It would be entirely possible to do so, since it is so close!

As I contemplate the contents of my closet, I look to the internet for “inspiration”. First day of work clothes are very important, you know. Well, I found some lovely suits that I was thinking of investing in. The one I liked the most was this:

Also, I’m tired of my current style, so I think I want to change it up a little bit. I was thinking of going for something a little more…classic.

Ah, corporate America, here I come! Are you ready for me?! Mwahaha.

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It appears that I have graduated from college. Crazy, no?

I have also retained employment. Being as this is a public blog, I’m not going to go into detail, nor am I ever likely to. However, if you are curious, feel free to email me and I’ll probably tell you (if I know you!).

I will say that I’m very happy to have a job, and one related to my field (Marketing & Management). I’m going to be a real person! Chicago will be my home for a while longer, since the company is located here.

Speaking of which, I found a great page on Wikipedia that explains the community areas of Chicago.

Last night I had a dream that my feather comforter was trying to attack me. It probably means something really deep and psychologically meaningful. hahaha.

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At the clinic today I went to the staff lounge to get some tea (my eyes were trying to close, and I had no toothpicks available to prop them open). Usually the lounge is quiet and empty…but I happened to walk in during the nurses’ lunch break.

Chaos! There were 9 nurses in a very small space…all between the ages of 35-60. These women are some of the sweetest, toughest, and sometimes scatterbrained people I’ve ever met. They help me decipher doctor’s handwriting and always say hello to me.

Well, when I walked in they were jovially ribbing one of the young male doctors (who is tall and good-looking, of course). This is pretty much how the conversation went:

Nurse 1: “Are you married, doctor?”
Nurse 2: “No, he isn’t married.”
Nurse 1: “Not married, why not?! Are you dating someone?”
Doctor grabs cup of coffee.
Nurse 3: “Yes, he is! Aren’t you, dear? How long has it been?”
Nurse 4: “Oh my, aren’t we something?”
“One month.” -mumbled through a smile
Nurse 5: “oooh well we can’t interfere yet. We have to give it time.”
*laughter*
Nurse 6: “You ladies are just awful, awful! Stop harassing the poor man!”
Doctor escapes with coffee in hand and embarrassed grin on his face.

I was giggling the whole time. Poor guy…
Right now, I hear Jerry Springer on a television somewhere in the clinic. I’ve never SEEN a television here, so I don’t know where it is coming from.
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Ayyam-i-Ha Party @ my place Friday night, 8 pm. Bring your dancing shoes!

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Wierd Diagnoses:

Flap Wound: yes, this is what it sounds like. This particular person had it on their finger. ouch!

Flat Feet: I am sorry to anyone who has flat feet, but every time I type this in I think of ducks.

Hair in Ear Canal: um, ew.

“Soft Mass on Palm, please evaluate & excise”- this one made me shudder.
———————————
Every day around 3:30 pm babies are crying somewhere in the clinic. My co-worker and I think it is a ghost. haha.

My boss sings along to Ludacris and Eminem.
———————————

I see a lot of the same diagnoses. I know the ICD-9 code for obesity, because it seems like every fourth referral is to Nutrition & Wellness for obesity, and I know the code for diabetes. Cancers…I see the most for breast cancer, but today I’ve typed in lung and prostate cancer. One day I typed in a referral for a person who had HIV and 2 STDs.

I don’t see any of the student referrals, because that is on a different system that I am not trained in. I’m sure they don’t have as many referrals to specialty clinics, nor are those referrals as serious. Most of my patients are 40-60 years old. I see many of the same names over and over, many with multiple diseases or health issues.

I think it is a good thing I do not have contact with patients. Reading about it is hard enough.

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My internship draws to a close. I don’t have any real insights about it, except that I have very little interest in retail. hah! Who would’ve thunk it?
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There are usually reasons for the things I do, even if it doesn’t make sense at the time. There are certain ways I approach things, and if that isn’t the way someone else would handle it…well, I’m myself, not someone else, so it makes sense to do it my way, eh? I’m only 20 years old (almost 21), so I can’t claim that I have a large amount of experience in the world. I’m blunt, forgiving, trusting, silly, smart, and very tough when I need to be. I dislike confrontation but will take care of myself and those I love.

Most of all, I decided quite a while ago that letting people walk all over me was unacceptable. I do not put myself in situations where people feel they can take advantage of the fact that I’m a nice person. If someone makes me uncomfortable, I just can’t spend much time with them. That is simply what it comes down to.

I’m not very…personal on this blog. There are reasons for that, too. But the above is very public information about who I am, because I’m up front about that. Every aspect of “Sholeh” is non-negotiable, it is simply…who I am. And I really like that.

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You know you’ve been working too long at Target when:

- you refer to customers as “guests”…outside of work.
- you refer to fellow employees as “team members”…also outside of work.
- you abbreviate everything.
- you start having nightmares about not having stocked the shelves enough.
- you refer to the stuff sold at the store as “product” & “merchandise”.
- when you see someone in red and khaki, you assume they work at Target.
- you start referring to all meals, no matter what time, as “lunch”.
- you reach for your walkie-talkie…even at home.

and finally:
- you straighten shelves when you go to other stores.

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At work (Target) they play music videos on the TV screens in Electronics. They’ve been playing a lot of Modest Mouse and the Postal Service, as well as Los Lonely Boys. Therefore, I’ve had Modest Mouse’s “Float On” stuck in my head for the last week. And I own the the Postal Service cd, thanks to Adam, so that’s been in my cd player.

Also: if you have to return items, please do not yell at Guest Service. They are merely doing their job. We had 3 guests in a row yell at the poor ladies behind the desk on Sunday, and more yesterday and today. The nicer you are, the more likely they will go out of their way to help if they can.

The team members have begun referring to me as “the intern”, which I find amusing. One of them tried to use it to bug me, then got disconcerted when I laughed in his face.

A guest stopped me today when the store was closing. He was looking for “…fine point gel pens. They have the medium point, see, right here? But no fine point. Oh, you’ve never used gel pens?! They’re the best! Seriously, you should really try them. I want the 10-pack, but all I see is medium point…” Continued in that same vein. We never found the fine point. haha.

Did you know that the Target Corporation sold Marshall Fields and Mervyn’s to the May company, which owns Lord & Taylor? Sale is not final till mid-July, but it has been a topic of conversation.

Oh yeah, and the best information of all? Wal-Mart is opening next door in August. ewww.

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The reason I have not been online much: my Target internship. I’m loving it, but I’ve worked two 10 hour days and two 8 hour days so far, so I haven’t slept as much as I should and I’ve been on my feet.

Very sore feet, I must say.

I’m learning a great deal, and the folks at my store are helpful and friendly. It is hard to explain in this little space what exactly my day is like because every day is different. I have been training in Guest Services this week, which involves learning about cashiering, the Guest Service desk, numbers (sales, cashier speed scores, and Visas), and various other things. It is very hands on.

So every night I come home, collapse, and try to relax a little bit.

Also, whenever I see babies at work I go all silly and want to hug them. Can’t, of course, but dang they are just so cute!

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