Adam L pointed out this article to me about an art piece called a “Prayer Antenna” by Paul Davies. This started me thinking about why people of all faiths (or of no faith in particular) pray.

Wikipedia has a good article on definitions of prayer, and how people practice in different religions. One of the questions asked is: “If God is all-knowing, then doesn’t God already know what we are going to ask for before we pray?” Another is: “Do human beings actually have the ability to praise an omniscient and omnipotent God?”

Abdu’l-Baha, the Son of Baha’u'llah, who Baha’is believe is the most recent Manifestation of God, says this about why we need to pray:

“O thou spiritual friend! Thou hast asked the wisdom of prayer. Know thou that prayer is indispensable and obligatory, and man under no pretext whatsoever is excused from performing the prayer unless he be mentally unsound, or an insurmountable obstacle prevent him. The wisdom of prayer is this: That it causeth a connection between the servant and the True One, because in that state ( i.e., prayer) man with all heart and soul turneth his face towards His Highness the Almighty, seeking His association and desiring His love and compassion. The greatest happiness for a lover is to converse with his beloved, and the greatest gift for a seeker is to become familiar with the object of his longing; that is why with every soul who is attracted to the Kingdom of God, his greatest hope is to find an opportunity to entreat and supplicate before his Beloved, appeal for His mercy and grace and be immersed in the ocean of His utterance, goodness and generosity. Beside all this, prayer and fasting is the cause of awakening and mindfulness and conducive to protection and preservation from tests.”

(Baha’i prayer beads)—————–
On a completely silly note, when I was enlisting Paul’s help to provide the picture for this entry, he made this statement:“Prayer beads are for Baha’is what light sabers are for Jedi Knights. Each must construct his own.”

I nearly fell out of my chair, I was laughing so hard. (Paul is this site’s webmaster and a dear spiritual brother.)

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“O people of Bahá! The source of crafts, sciences and arts is the power of reflection. Make ye every effort that out of this ideal mine there may gleam forth such pearls of wisdom and utterance as will promote the well-being and harmony of all the kindreds of the earth.”

-Bahá’u’lláh

How often do we think of these verses when creating art, or even just working in our jobs?

Speaking of jobs, I dodge flatbed trucks every day on my way in to the office. I’ve gotten pretty good at listening to distinguish when they’re accelerating or heading in my direction. The truckers try to watch out for pedestrians, but it can be difficult to stop a truck with a couple thousand pounds of steel on it.

The doors of the plant are open during the summer and as I walk by each morning and afternoon, the acrid smell of steel (especially in the processing centers where it is burned). 250 pounds of steel is, to me, a paltry number, not even worth mentioning. When did this happen?

I accidently recorded a conversation the other day and I was shocked to hear how much I sound like my sisters. I think every sales rep should hear a recording of themselves talking to customers, just so they can see how weird/annoying/crazy they sound.

And now, for a lunch meeting.

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(By Buckingham Fountain, click here for a larger image.)

I’ve been having a lot of conversations with people lately about transition. I had a shocking moment the other day when I realized that a vast number of friends I formerly thought of in the singular form have turned into a unit of the married variety. Theoretically I knew that this was the case, but after the announcement of yet another engagement (I’ve kind of given up counting), and the realization that I would be attending one wedding in Chicago in a week and another in Texas in 3 weeks…well. I sat back in my chair, put my hand over my forehead in a dramatic way, and proceeded to enact a very Shakespearean scene, complete with swordfights and swooning maidens.

No. Not really. I was just amused. It happens to everyone, haha. And I love the chance to watch my friends happiness first-hand and dance at the weddings. Really, the dancing is the most important part.

Other kinds of transitions are taking place. I have friends going to grad school, or deciding not to go back to school. Friends moving overseas, and friends returning from being abroad. There are career choices, lifestyle changes, moves, babies being born (oh yes, that is slowly starting to happen, too!). How very wonderful!

In the theme of my post about search, we learn a lot about our decision making styles and ability to commit to a path once we start on it. The factors that play into these choices (family, responsibilities, friends, jobs, service) all have to be weighed.

However, do we sometimes wait to take action until we have everything figured out? “Life is busy right now, I’ll wait to ____ (get married/change careers/do service/etc) when life slows down.” Or fear can take over, whether it is fear of failure (which, as we know, has no place in the path of service), or fear of injury/heartache/complications/the uknown. This is not to say that fear is not a valid feeling, but that we must overcome it to reach our goals.

So then, for me, it all boils down to detachment…especially detachment to our ego & self. Resignation to whatever is the Will of God (Insha’allah, in Arabic), while taking action in the best way we know how.

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I dreamed about a house on a cliff last night
it went on forever on the coast
the waves crashed around and under the foundation
it was in the mountains, abandoned
there were stories draped around the house
the corridors went on forever
doors closed in front of me, cheaply made
but apparently there were rooms
with chandeliers and french couches
enough space for every orphan in the world
to make a home of their own
and the outer walls writhed in time with the wind
sea grass hugged the stones and sand
as we stood beside the house in the mountains
next to the sea.

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Last night at the Junior Youth Animator training we read the following quotation from the Baha’i Writings:

“The more we search for ourselves, the less likely we are to find ourselves; and the more we search for God, and to serve our fellow-men, the more profoundly will we become acquainted with ourselves, and the more inwardly assured. This is one of the great spiritual laws of life.”
(From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, February 18, 1954)

It made me think a lot about how we go about the process of searching for ourselves. When we say we are “lost” or need to go find ourselves, and often “disappear” from the world in order to facilitate that process. But the Guardian (Shoghi Effendi) is clear as to how the process of spiritual growth and transformation is to occur: through worship of God and service to others!

I’m still figuring out how I want to present myself to the world, of course. Last night, out of several conversations, I started thinking about why I do certain things in different situations. This is not to over-analyze myself, but rather to understand my own motives and actions in order to learn and grow. How we choose to act outwardly reflects our inner selves.

“Man’s evolution is both individual and collective, because of his twofold relationship to himself and to the society in which he lives. Individual evolution starts with the early stages of one’s existence. Consciousness too grows with this evolution.”
(From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, January 14, 1938)

We can’t separate ourselves from society. Monasticism and similar activities are discouraged. We are to grow spiritually by being a part of the community around us. Sometimes our communities can test us, our fellow Baha’is can be a trial. The state of the world is crumbling and it is easy to feel hopeless. The link below has a wonderful quote.
Read the rest of this entry »

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Answering questions is such a difficult thing sometimes. I have such an open face, you can read my soul in my eyes and smile most of the time.

This is both good and bad. Sometimes we have to be just a little bit private, hold things close to our hearts. It’s ok to do this.

I’m tired of asking what is new with people. I am tired of being asked what is new with me. I’m becoming weary of myself. The personal surface level has been discussed so many times before. What has happened to intelligent conversation? I’m not saying any of this in a whining way, nor am I berating people. I see it in myself as well, and I write to figure out how I want to take action on things in my life.

So we’ll laugh, and I’ll laugh, and be happy to see you. I promise. I’d also like to talk about the article I read in Business Week or the way stars are disappearing from our lives or the way flowers hold their shape in the sun and the velvet smoothness of wind off of Lake Michigan in the summer when we sit on the beach or maybe even we will sit quietly and that is ok too. I promise. Silence is not scary for me. We’ll read books on the grass because those are the kinds of memories that last, ice cream unplanned and talking until our hearts feel full again.

I am writing new songs in that clumsy way of mine
hoping that the words spoken have a purpose
and take apart the little glass pieces that work their way
under our heart’s skin.
Wishing I could sing one note with clarity
knowing that this muddled mash of awkward phrases
is enough to help me hold on
remember.

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I like bird nests. My sister and I used to collect them as children, along with any eggshell pieces we would find discarded.

I like birds, too. But when a bird interferes with my everyday life, I get a little annoyed.

Exhibit A: The American Robin (Turdus migratorius)

(Look at those beady, devilish eyes…)

We have a nest in the roof of our back porch with several baby robins. During our 4th of July BBQ, Andrew was attacked as he attempted to set up the grill. Once Jinous, Maysoon, Lauren, and I came outside she was less aggressive…too many people to fight, I guess.

A few days ago I was weeding the patio and the mother bird was swooping down so close that her wings were touching my hair. I abandoned the effort with half of my task completed. Yesterday I tried to hang lights on the back porch for the party and she dive-bombed me with such ferocity that I retreated back into the house, shaking with terror.

This is just ridiculous.

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Feet sinking in the worn-down rocks
When was the last time
We felt sea foam around our ankles?
I still think that I can spend sand dollars
And get change.
Spiny horseshoe crabs
are banned from the car
(sensitive noses, you see).Why is it that
I used to feel so much closer to the ground?
If I kneel it isn’t the same
Buried in seagull wings and screams
Our ears assaulted
We’ll take refuge in the waves.

Can I promise
With a caveat of sometime when?
That tomorrow I’ll take your hand
To walk down past the grassy dunes
On the South Carolina shore?

Since I can’t share the past with you
I’ll recreate past lives
Of 20 years gone by
And we’ll wash out our mouths
With sweet salt air.

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