(By Buckingham Fountain, click here for a larger image.)
I’ve been having a lot of conversations with people lately about transition. I had a shocking moment the other day when I realized that a vast number of friends I formerly thought of in the singular form have turned into a unit of the married variety. Theoretically I knew that this was the case, but after the announcement of yet another engagement (I’ve kind of given up counting), and the realization that I would be attending one wedding in Chicago in a week and another in Texas in 3 weeks…well. I sat back in my chair, put my hand over my forehead in a dramatic way, and proceeded to enact a very Shakespearean scene, complete with swordfights and swooning maidens.
No. Not really. I was just amused. It happens to everyone, haha. And I love the chance to watch my friends happiness first-hand and dance at the weddings. Really, the dancing is the most important part. 😉
Other kinds of transitions are taking place. I have friends going to grad school, or deciding not to go back to school. Friends moving overseas, and friends returning from being abroad. There are career choices, lifestyle changes, moves, babies being born (oh yes, that is slowly starting to happen, too!). How very wonderful!
In the theme of my post about search, we learn a lot about our decision making styles and ability to commit to a path once we start on it. The factors that play into these choices (family, responsibilities, friends, jobs, service) all have to be weighed.
However, do we sometimes wait to take action until we have everything figured out? “Life is busy right now, I’ll wait to ____ (get married/change careers/do service/etc) when life slows down.” Or fear can take over, whether it is fear of failure (which, as we know, has no place in the path of service), or fear of injury/heartache/complications/the uknown. This is not to say that fear is not a valid feeling, but that we must overcome it to reach our goals.
So then, for me, it all boils down to detachment…especially detachment to our ego & self. Resignation to whatever is the Will of God (Insha’allah, in Arabic), while taking action in the best way we know how.
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What a lovely blog entry. 🙂
Yes: dancing is the most important part.
I pray for detachment; yours and mine.
And I have few friends my age left who haven’t been married. So don’t worry, you have a few years before we’re even in the same boat. 😉
So , I was telling my friend at work about how I declared last sunday, and he was completely blown away that I cant drink anymore. He and I always go out to dance clubs, and he was all like, “how are you going to dance sober?” And I was like” yo, I can dance ANYTIME.” Dancing is one of my favorite pass times….I look forward to doing so in TX.
so…
1)sorry that i’ve become one of those crazies that’s causing everyone else’s epiphanies about growing up and everyone getting married and all that. i’m still in shock myself. and yes, detachment is extremely difficult, no matter what phase of life you’re in.
2) dancing is unquestionably the most important part. that’s half the reason i’m getting married. 😉
3) dancing sober is the funnest way to dance (yes, funnest is a word). i’ve never had so much fun dancing as i’ve had at persian bahai weddings. so i think you’ll all have plenty of fun. glad to oblige.
About waiting for life to “slow down”…I think it’s more like we’re waiting for the magical day when we grow up and become wise enough to make all these life-altering choices. First we think it’ll be the day we go to college, then the day we leave college, then the day we get a steady job, etc. Eventually you realize there is no magic day when you suddenly feel more intelligent and adult, the only way you get any wiser is in realizing all the ways you’re not, and all the people who looked so knowing and self-assured were ad libbing their way through all along. So there’s no sense in holding back in worry, if you follow you heart and God you might still blow it but you will regret nothing.
Which I guess is a long-winded way of saying yeah, detachment is good. 🙂 Keep on dancing!