I know that I am a good writer.

What frustrates me is that I don’t always have the time or the inclination to show it.

I find it fascinating to proofread other people’s work.

People messing up there, their, and they’re will inevitably make me growl under my breath, roll my eyes, and cringe.

I use big words because I don’t know the smaller word that means the same thing. I’m not being pretentious. I just learned to read at a very young age. And many of my “books of instruction” were the Baha’i Writings.

I know that I am bad at writing fiction. I love reading it, but am often picky about the quality.

Books I’ve finished recently: Cryptonomicon, The Alchemist, The Valkyries. Baha’i Book: The Seven Valleys and the Four Valleys. I have a list about a mile long of Baha’i books that I want to read. Perhaps over break? I’m slowly working on the Kitab-i-Aqdas.

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Forgive me if I’ve forgotten your birthday. If I haven’t called or emailed you back. If I seem distracted when I say hello or shake your hand. If I wander off in the middle of a conversation or forget what we were talking about. If I vent my frustration and forget to ask how you are doing.

I’m working on it. Give me a few more weeks until finals are over.

Posted in Thoughts | Comments (2)

the threat of separation
draws me in
to this nightmare realm
where I search
calling your name
there is an echo back…

this scenario has happened before
in a different situation
in my dreams.
I wait for you in the room
only to discover that someday
you will leave.

in my head these things reign
supreme over rational thought
I awake with pain and terror
spreading through my soul.
I reach out to find your presence
still lingering in my heart.

these dreams keep coming…
and I, a stranger to death
realize that this is my fear of
someday.

Posted in Poetry | Comments (4)

“And a third emu is currently on the loose.” -NBC 10 pm news.

We’ve got some cooks in our neighborhood. Everyone contributed to make a wonderful meal the other night. (click to make it bigger)

Chicken w/garlic, lime, and something else, brown rice, beets, pasta with cream sauce, yellow acorn squash with brown sugar & butter, & zucchini & asparagus with ginger, garlic, and some other things I couldn’t identify. YUM.

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I am like a freaking barometer. Whenever the air pressure changes, I get headaches.

Combine that with my unfulfilled caffiene addiction…today has been yucky.

So my migraine is making me nauseous and dizzy. What a wonderful Friday night.

Counting down till the end of the semester…only a few more weeks left…

(Despite what it sounds like, I’m actually in a pretty good mood!)

Posted in Chicago | Comments (2)

What happens when Sholeh is too busy to write blog entries? She blesses the world with poetry.

Oct 9

This is what she is cloaked in
Undermined by mystery
She’s got no poker face
Emotions concealed?
No, openness is her fate
She is silent
Every minute, in every way
Something surrounds her
She is moving through the streets
With that haze in wisps around her
———————-

Nov 10

I lock these thoughts up
In the little iron box
That sits next to my heart
In quiet repose.
The chains surrounding it
Rattle slightly
In this condition.

Posted in Poetry | Comments (0)

And now I bring you…funny scientific article names:

The uncertain blitzkrieg of Pleistocene megafauna (apparently the megafauna were not as sure about their attack as they should have been)

Amphibian road mortality in response to nightly variations in traffic intensity (no, Fred, don’t cross the road! It’s not worth it!)

From species to supertrees… (trees with capes and powers)

Bias in the mean tree model as a consequence of Jensen’s Inequality (Those trees have really got to stop being so rude)

Response of birds to thinning young Douglas-fir forests (ok, so they’re going bald. It doesn’t mean you have to reject them so coldly!)

I would love to see these as The Far Side cartoons.

Posted in Humor | Comments (7)

Another creation!

Ingredients:
Chicken breast (cut into pieces)
onion (diced)
tomato (diced)
zucchini (sliced)
1/2 can coconut milk
salt
pepper

Fry chicken in a large wok or non-stick pan with onions, salt, and pepper. When chicken is fully cooked, add zucchini and tomato. Fry for a few minutes. Drain oil, then pour in coconut milk. Cook for a few more minutes. Eat over rice.

yum.

Posted in Cooking | Comments (1)

O Lord, my God and my Haven in my distress! My Shield and my Shelter in my woes! My Asylum and Refuge in time of need and in my loneliness my Companion! In my anguish my Solace, and in my solitude a loving Friend! The Remover of the pangs of my sorrows and the Pardoner of my sins!

Wholly unto Thee do I turn, fervently imploring Thee with all my heart, my mind and my tongue, to shield me from all that runs counter to Thy will in this, the cycle of Thy divine unity, and to cleanse me of all defilement that will hinder me from seeking, stainless and unsullied, the shade of the tree of Thy grace.

Have mercy, O Lord, on the feeble, make whole the sick, and quench the burning thirst.

Gladden the bosom wherein the fire of Thy love doth smolder, and set it aglow with the flame of Thy celestial love and spirit.

Robe the tabernacles of divine unity with the vesture of holiness, and set upon my head the crown of Thy favor.

Illumine my face with the radiance of the orb of Thy bounty, and graciously aid me in ministering at Thy holy threshold.

Make my heart overflow with love for Thy creatures and grant that I may become the sign of Thy mercy, the token of Thy grace, the promoter of concord amongst Thy loved ones, devoted unto Thee, uttering Thy commemoration and forgetful of self but ever mindful of what is Thine.

O God, my God! Stay not from me the gentle gales of Thy pardon and grace, and deprive me not of the wellsprings of Thine aid and favor.

‘Neath the shade of Thy protecting wings let me nestle, and cast upon me the glance of Thine all-protecting eye.

Loose my tongue to laud Thy name amidst Thy people, that my voice may be raised in great assemblies and from my lips may stream the flood of Thy praise.

Thou art, in all truth, the Gracious, the Glorified, the Mighty, the Omnipotent.

- ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

Posted in Baha'i | Comments (0)

Oh, speak with all of the words lingering in your heart,
The ones that refuse to come out unless prodded.
Speak and don’t be afraid of the emotions
The dreams, the pain that come with speech.
Just…speak, sing, shout out this strange poetry,
These strange songs and sentences.
Reach out with all of your senses
Stretched to the limits of thought
Surrounded by these beautiful, heartrending
Words.

Posted in Poetry | Comments (4)

The Baha’i Association at my University won the bulletin board decorating contest. We got a monetary prize for catering for events, but more importantly, it inspired us to make a better board than we would have without incentive, and now people are reading the information and taking pamphlets. It is next to our office. woot!

(click to make it bigger!)

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In those days past
when summer was the overriding season
our smiles were open
the cynical twists of the mouth didn’t exist.
There was no pain behind those eyes.
It was the Sobes and the Guccis and the core Chicago youth.
It was frisbee and cooking together,
moving in and out of dorms
and driving Lake Shore Drive at 2 am.
It was trips from the suburbs to the city
with analyzing and thought.
It was singing and praying and fixing the Center
It was CCA and UIC, trips to Louhelen in February
(lets spend Valentines day talking about college).
It was sisters and brothers, blood-bound or not,
and finding the people you didn’t know existed.
It was outward-looking orientation, before we ever heard that word.
It was service without asking “What’s in it for me?”.
It was volunteering at the House of Worship.
It was the beginning of the Chicago Youth Desk and the interns.
It was beaches and Ruhi book 7.
It was when the word “relationship” didn’t matter
and “crushes” were silent, beautiful things,
when Shakespearean love brought nothing but smiles.
It was dancing and late night calls to say “I’m sorry, did I offend you?”
It was mutual support and realizing it was ok to say
“I love you” without it meaning anything more than that.
It was the “one girl with all the guys” or
the “one guy with all the girls” but no one noticed.
It was all of the Chicago youth BLAZONING the name of Baha’u'llah,
and singing to the National Spiritual Assembly.
It was nearly drowning in the river and 24 hour diners.
It was Persian Conference and Greenlake,
and ninja videos shot in a Japanese garden.
It was jam sessions and crazy guitar serenades.
It was the Taste of Chicago and Erykah Badu,
the 3rd of July with fireworks on the beach.
It was the UofC and The Pit,
and all night talks about deep subjects.
It was dinner and movies and an intense lack of sleep.
It was when goals and dreams seemed realistic.
It was true friendship with that honesty and laughter…real connections.
It was joy and discovery, freedom from judgement and drama.
It was 2003.
And it made us what we are today.

(Neda & Sholeh collaborated to write this memory collection)

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