I am mired in this in-between state, keeping emotions at bay and I can’t seem to process anything right now. My days are on the edge of frantic, the evenings a collapse into numb mindlessness. I am scattered, but to stop moving would mean thought, would mean that I would have to think.
I am happy. There is laughter in my voice, there is a smile when I speak and there are a million things to be grateful for. Those great tragedies loom, hover, and dissipate. We cried in horror and we were joyous at the thought of release. We are angry, we are hurting, we are loved and loved and we love.
I thank God that I have, that my faith is this, that in these moments everything is perfect and jumbled and a beautiful mess. I thank you. I am humbled.