At the clinic today I went to the staff lounge to get some tea (my eyes were trying to close, and I had no toothpicks available to prop them open). Usually the lounge is quiet and empty…but I happened to walk in during the nurses’ lunch break.

Chaos! There were 9 nurses in a very small space…all between the ages of 35-60. These women are some of the sweetest, toughest, and sometimes scatterbrained people I’ve ever met. They help me decipher doctor’s handwriting and always say hello to me.

Well, when I walked in they were jovially ribbing one of the young male doctors (who is tall and good-looking, of course). This is pretty much how the conversation went:

Nurse 1: “Are you married, doctor?”
Nurse 2: “No, he isn’t married.”
Nurse 1: “Not married, why not?! Are you dating someone?”
Doctor grabs cup of coffee.
Nurse 3: “Yes, he is! Aren’t you, dear? How long has it been?”
Nurse 4: “Oh my, aren’t we something?”
“One month.” -mumbled through a smile
Nurse 5: “oooh well we can’t interfere yet. We have to give it time.”
*laughter*
Nurse 6: “You ladies are just awful, awful! Stop harassing the poor man!”
Doctor escapes with coffee in hand and embarrassed grin on his face.

I was giggling the whole time. Poor guy…
Right now, I hear Jerry Springer on a television somewhere in the clinic. I’ve never SEEN a television here, so I don’t know where it is coming from.
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Ayyam-i-Ha Party @ my place Friday night, 8 pm. Bring your dancing shoes!

Wierd Diagnoses:

Flap Wound: yes, this is what it sounds like. This particular person had it on their finger. ouch!

Flat Feet: I am sorry to anyone who has flat feet, but every time I type this in I think of ducks. 😮

Hair in Ear Canal: um, ew.

“Soft Mass on Palm, please evaluate & excise”- this one made me shudder.
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Every day around 3:30 pm babies are crying somewhere in the clinic. My co-worker and I think it is a ghost. haha.

My boss sings along to Ludacris and Eminem.
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I see a lot of the same diagnoses. I know the ICD-9 code for obesity, because it seems like every fourth referral is to Nutrition & Wellness for obesity, and I know the code for diabetes. Cancers…I see the most for breast cancer, but today I’ve typed in lung and prostate cancer. One day I typed in a referral for a person who had HIV and 2 STDs.

I don’t see any of the student referrals, because that is on a different system that I am not trained in. I’m sure they don’t have as many referrals to specialty clinics, nor are those referrals as serious. Most of my patients are 40-60 years old. I see many of the same names over and over, many with multiple diseases or health issues.

I think it is a good thing I do not have contact with patients. Reading about it is hard enough.

You know you’ve been working too long at Target when:

– you refer to customers as “guests”…outside of work.
– you refer to fellow employees as “team members”…also outside of work.
– you abbreviate everything.
– you start having nightmares about not having stocked the shelves enough.
– you refer to the stuff sold at the store as “product” & “merchandise”.
– when you see someone in red and khaki, you assume they work at Target.
– you start referring to all meals, no matter what time, as “lunch”.
– you reach for your walkie-talkie…even at home.

and finally:
– you straighten shelves when you go to other stores.

At work (Target) they play music videos on the TV screens in Electronics. They’ve been playing a lot of Modest Mouse and the Postal Service, as well as Los Lonely Boys. Therefore, I’ve had Modest Mouse’s “Float On” stuck in my head for the last week. And I own the the Postal Service cd, thanks to Adam, so that’s been in my cd player.

Also: if you have to return items, please do not yell at Guest Service. They are merely doing their job. We had 3 guests in a row yell at the poor ladies behind the desk on Sunday, and more yesterday and today. The nicer you are, the more likely they will go out of their way to help if they can.

The team members have begun referring to me as “the intern”, which I find amusing. One of them tried to use it to bug me, then got disconcerted when I laughed in his face.

A guest stopped me today when the store was closing. He was looking for “…fine point gel pens. They have the medium point, see, right here? But no fine point. Oh, you’ve never used gel pens?! They’re the best! Seriously, you should really try them. I want the 10-pack, but all I see is medium point…” Continued in that same vein. We never found the fine point. haha.

Did you know that the Target Corporation sold Marshall Fields and Mervyn’s to the May company, which owns Lord & Taylor? Sale is not final till mid-July, but it has been a topic of conversation.

Oh yeah, and the best information of all? Wal-Mart is opening next door in August. ewww.

The reason I have not been online much: my Target internship. I’m loving it, but I’ve worked two 10 hour days and two 8 hour days so far, so I haven’t slept as much as I should and I’ve been on my feet.

Very sore feet, I must say.

I’m learning a great deal, and the folks at my store are helpful and friendly. It is hard to explain in this little space what exactly my day is like because every day is different. I have been training in Guest Services this week, which involves learning about cashiering, the Guest Service desk, numbers (sales, cashier speed scores, and Visas), and various other things. It is very hands on.

So every night I come home, collapse, and try to relax a little bit.

Also, whenever I see babies at work I go all silly and want to hug them. Can’t, of course, but dang they are just so cute!

I was going a little stir-crazy, wondering what I was going to do this summer, when I finally got a phone call from Target for the 12 week management internship program. I got the job! It is paid, and I’m going to be working near my house. Now I’m just waiting for the details in the mail. I start June 2nd.

In other news, I decided tonight that I’m going to Minnesota tonight with some of the local youth, so I’ll be back Friday.