A Calm Storm

The blog of Sholeh Samadani Munion

the imaginary conversation

You’re right. None of us are meant to be alone. It gets us into trouble in so many ways. I mean, if you choose it, that is one thing. But to choose solitude, or at least be content with it…well.

-I imagine that this process is a lot easier when we’re honest about what we’re looking for.

Would you have been this honest 10 years ago? Or even 5?

-No, but we delude ourselves into this journey that has taken years, and now we find ourselves successful in some ways, but all seeking this connection that we still haven’t found. Finding the connection doesn’t fix everything, but then we can focus on other things.

So I guess it comes to the fact that we are here, in this time and place, and we have a choice to make. We never found our way before this, and we’re surprised to find ourselves in the dark, holding on.

-It really is a choice. We choose our life, our love, in the infinite confusion that is now. We can’t stop running from things that make sense. We have been doing it too long, it is almost an addiction. We are afraid to make mistakes, to make the wrong choice. But we’re running from what could be the easiest choice.

I am not going to get an answer to this, am I?


One thought on “the imaginary conversation

  1. None of us are meant to be alone…. and sometimes we CHOOSE solitude….

    And still some of our loneliest moments are when we are surrounded by friends or family…are they not? And is solitude a choice when the alternative is sorrow and disconnection?

    The real lie is that we are content with the disconnect of material affinities (we both like indie rock and laugh at the same jokes!) in the absence of genuine soul recognition and love.

    The real comfort lies in the intangible, unknowable, hard to visualize, hard to recognize, comfort of God. The only Partner in life that provides the ultimate fulfillment–that my base and material self rejects on a daily basis. Give me the comfort of a hand, holding mine. Give me the comfort of a voice in my ear-whispers that tickle my neck with laughter. Give me the tangible comfort of a person to come home to, who cooks me dinner and tucks me in at night…and I will tell you that I knew and loved God better. I know this is wrong. This is my struggle. My ability to recognize the fallacy of these sentiments waxes and wanes with every moment.

    There is an answer. I just haven’t chosen to believe it just yet.

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