{"id":1765,"date":"2009-06-18T11:58:11","date_gmt":"2009-06-18T17:58:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/?p=1765"},"modified":"2009-06-18T12:00:51","modified_gmt":"2009-06-18T18:00:51","slug":"one-year-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/archives\/1765","title":{"rendered":"One year"},"content":{"rendered":"

It has been 8,760 hours since I came home.<\/p>\n

Since I left home.<\/em><\/p>\n

It is two places now, where I am and where I was.\u00c2\u00a0 It is pieces of memories that float to the surface with no warning and leave me gasping for breath.<\/p>\n

It is silence in the Mother Temple when I close my eyes and pretend that I am in the Shrines, or standing on the sea wall, or walking down broken stone paths.\u00c2\u00a0 I am still near the water, but instead of a warm sea I swim in the cold lake, instead of gardens I am stand in concrete city landscapes.<\/p>\n

One year.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

So much and so little has changed.\u00c2\u00a0 There is a little more knowledge behind my eyes, a little more heaviness in my sighs, more smiles and more quiet.\u00c2\u00a0 There is less need to be here<\/em> and there<\/em> and everywhere<\/em> at once.<\/p>\n

Work happens every day from 8 am-5 pm, Monday through Friday, just like I prayed for.\u00c2\u00a0 Last night I signed a short lease for a place to rest my head at night, and a closet for my clothes.\u00c2\u00a0 Resigned and happy.\n<\/p>\n

I miss you<\/em> and you <\/em>and you<\/em> and you<\/em> and you<\/em> and most especially you<\/em>.<\/p>\n

In between places and time are the photographs, the Saturday morning brunches, the days upon days at Bahji, the Friday afternoon soccer matches, Thursday nights that were never-ending, Monday’s game night and dinner, Tuesday farewells to the pilgrims, and praying my way down the mountain.<\/p>\n

Home is a jumbled mess of prairie grass, the call to prayer, the flat roads, the mountain stairs, a million flowers, snow, sand, sky and no starlight.\u00c2\u00a0 Haifa and Chicago.<\/p>\n

My eyes have seen<\/em> and<\/p>\n

my heart has known<\/em> and<\/p>\n

my faith is this: I will never be alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It has been 8,760 hours since I came home. Since I left home. It is two places now, where I am and where I was.\u00c2\u00a0 It is pieces of memories that float to the surface with no warning and leave…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[5,14,19,3,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1765","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chicago","category-haifa","category-personal","category-thoughts","category-work"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1765","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1765"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1765\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1770,"href":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1765\/revisions\/1770"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1765"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1765"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1765"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}