{"id":2239,"date":"2010-09-21T00:00:47","date_gmt":"2010-09-21T05:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/?p=2239"},"modified":"2010-09-21T00:00:47","modified_gmt":"2010-09-21T05:00:47","slug":"goodbye","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/archives\/2239","title":{"rendered":"Goodbye"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I am mired in this in-between state, keeping emotions at bay and I can&#8217;t seem to process <em>anything<\/em> right now.\u00c2\u00a0 My days are on the edge of frantic, the evenings a collapse into numb mindlessness.\u00c2\u00a0 I am scattered, but to stop moving would mean thought, would mean that I would have to <em>think<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/sholeh\/5010967278\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone\" src=\"http:\/\/farm5.static.flickr.com\/4105\/5010967278_76cb554228.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I am happy.\u00c2\u00a0 There is laughter in my voice, there is a smile when I speak and there are a million things to be grateful for.\u00c2\u00a0 Those great tragedies loom, hover, and dissipate.\u00c2\u00a0 We cried in horror and we were joyous at the thought of release.\u00c2\u00a0 We are angry, we are hurting, we are loved and loved and we <em>love.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I thank God that I have, that my faith is this, that in these moments everything is perfect and jumbled and a beautiful mess.\u00c2\u00a0 I thank you.\u00c2\u00a0 I am humbled.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am mired in this in-between state, keeping emotions at bay and I can&#8217;t seem to process anything right now.\u00c2\u00a0 My days are on the edge of frantic, the evenings a collapse into numb mindlessness.\u00c2\u00a0 I am scattered, but to&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[8,19,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2239","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friends","category-personal","category-thoughts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2239","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2239"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2239\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2240,"href":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2239\/revisions\/2240"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sholeh.calmstorm.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}