April 21, 2005
Happy First Day of Ridvan! I got to vote for a Local Spiritual Assembly for the first time this year, it was very exciting.
I sit here, struggling to write my paper for Sociology…I have part of it done. Motivation is hard to come by.
I feel like the world that surrounds me is different. It is not the same street that I live on, or the same back porch that I sit on. We’re all feeling it, and we don’t know what it is. I’ve decided it is useless to speculate. Need to just pray.
April 19, 2005
It is perfect. There is that breeze with the mixed up smells of spring, car exhaust, and humidity. The back door is propped open and we’ve put the deck furniture back out (what little we have!). It took me 10 minutes to plant some flowers and basil in starter pots, so we will hopefully have growing things soon.
We don’t have the heat on anymore, and windows are open throughout the house. Bikes were brought up from the basement and snow shovels are taking their place. I live in flip-flops in the summer, and have begun to wear them every day now.
My last final exam is on May 4th. Summer will then begin, and I can’t WAIT. Conferences, weddings, family and friends visits, beach volleyball, biking, rollerblading…and work, of course. Our home will be full of the sounds of laughter and music, with back porch and kitchen philosophy dominating in the evenings.
I love Chicago. I love life, and its accompanying trials and joys. I love warm weather, and friends, and family. I love serving the Faith, and seeing the amazing change that is happening in the Chicago community.
April 17, 2005
Even I fall
when I hear words from
the other half of me.
This is true, I know
and yet somehow
you and me are not
you and me.
It is not for now,
it may never be.
The words have made tears
sorrow and joy combined,
in this, what I dare not see.
April 14, 2005
Me: “Ramez…you do realize that we’re really big nerds? We’re sitting in the computer lab, when each of us has computers at home.”
Ramez: “Ah, that’s true, but we don’t have the luxury at home of sitting in chairs with approximately three semesters worth of farts in them.”
I just about died laughing. Now I am debating whether or not to post this entry, but have decided to, because humor is not something I normally put on this blog, and figured that everyone needs a laugh at least once a day. So, I’m considering this a service to humanity. yeah. heh.
April 12, 2005
*The world moved too fast for me today.
I was scrambling to keep up,
even with 6 eggs (3 for breakfast, 3 for dinner)
I have a protein craving, perhaps. (get it?)
*I missed the stop on the train again, this time at LaSalle.
Not because of a book, but because of conversation.
The diversion took Ramez and I to Dunkin Donuts
(coffee was needed for studying!).
*I decided what kind of ice cream cake I want for my birthday
(in 5 months, the sum of the two digits of my age will equal 4).
*At the library, we discovered that it was closed,
so off to the cafe it was, with 80s music playing overhead.
*Term papers are taking over my life. It is the research part that gets me.
Writing a paper takes no time at all.
*The world has been surreal recently. Everyone around me feels it.
We discussed this last night…I simply can’t tell the difference sometimes
because life has been so completely strange.
We are in a different universe, we think.
That is ok. I always wanted to travel to distant lands.
April 10, 2005
I rode the train today, red line to roosevelt bus.
I missed the Roosevelt stop, and ended up in Chinatown.
Too immersed in my book, I did not mind the delay.
I come home to discover a gift of chewy chocolate chip cookies
(which are horrible for me, but I eat one anyway, as a treat).
In my mind, it is summer already…
Say a prayer.
Step back, take a breath…
Say a prayer.
Aware of the combination of
pain and joy.
Suddenly, the time has come to register for my classes for the Fall. This is the last time that I will do this in my undergraduate career. I am actually looking forward to it, because as a senior, I can get into the classes that I want to get into. Well, hopefully.
April 9, 2005
This is for you,
running through this wild maze.
I’ve seen you struggle
to overcome these walls,
these endless green heights
surrounding our thoughts.
You’re beautiful, loves, every last one of you.
April 5, 2005
I like Chicago. I firmly believe it is one of the most beautiful cities in the country.
Chicago Public Library
April 1, 2005
This is has been my view every day for the last four years.
Today was beautiful. I took this while holding textbooks in one hand and a purse in the other, while wearing 3 inch heels. I’ve got mad skillz. haha.
March 29, 2005
Zucchini, broccoli, carrots, and onions, fried in some canola oil with salt, pepper, garlic. Simple, fast, healthy, yum. Serve over rice or as a side dish.
The weather was so beyootiful today!! I was ecstatic, and celebrated by purchasing some summer clothing. Summer makes me very happy. I feel rejuvenated.
March 26, 2005
Have you ever been walking down the street
in your business slacks and heels
with a snazzy purse on your shoulder
makeup done perfectly, not a hair out of place
striding down the sidewalk with
an emphatic click on each step
when suddenly you trip and nearly fall
and all of the morning commuters look
on with barely concealed amusement?
Speaking of the morning commute, my dad sent me this article. I need one of these.
“After the snooze button is pressed, the clock, which is equipped with padding and a set of wheels, rolls off the table to another part of the room. Each day, the clock finds a new place to hide.
When the alarm sounds again, simply finding Clocky ought to be strenuous enough to prevent even the doziest owner from going back to sleep,” New Scientist magazine said on Tuesday.
March 22, 2005
I don’t normally like to rhyme so much, but this poem just wanted to be written, I had no control over it.
I see one taking up the burden
and this one holding down the fort
one reaching out to the stragglers
and this one reaching out for more.
I see one singing out prayers
and this one singing out dreams
one peeling off layers
and this one apart at the seams.
I see one learning about beauty
and this one learning about art
one learning about science
and this one is just trying to start
I see one being neglected
and this one showing them devotion
one feels rejected
and this one can’t show emotion.
I see one laughing with joy
and this one supremely content
one is going in circles
and this one is barely present.
I’m not describing specific people
or even a specific event.
I’m describing the matchless beauty
that these youth represent.
March 20, 2005
It is the Baha’i New Year, Naw-Ruz. It is also the Persian New Year. When I went home last night I was greeted with a haft-sin table, which included a lot of very cute goldfish swimming merrily in a bowl. I also got to eat a great deal of my mother’s ghormeh-sabzi and tea. I couldn’t move for a little while after that.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day, and that this new year is full of joy for you. I’m going to party tonight! wheee!
(A chocolate Naw-Ruz greeting I made. haha)
March 17, 2005
I wonder where my friends are. I wonder why people read, but don’t leave a comment saying hi.
I know you’re out there, blog-lurkers. Silent readers who visit the page and whisk themselves away before writing me a little message.
I have become sad.
[Read all of the above with an English accent. I am, however, quite serious about comments. At least just this once, say hi. Or leave a joke, or a funny combination of words. Please? At least for the little smily face woman below.]
Current awesome band: Royksopp. My sister gave me their cd, and I’ve had it on repeat while typing my papers. Also, King of Woolworths is rather fun, trippy musical entertainment. Another sisterly gift that has saved me from insanity.
March 14, 2005
Never shall I abandon this intoxicating bliss
Since you conquered my heart before I ever existed.
The ink on this page bleeds through
spreads to make artistic patterns
on an otherwise pristine desk
I look in dismay at the sudden colors
that appear without permission
This is why I maintain that typing is better
than foisting my handwriting
onto the world.
March 12, 2005
Sometimes this is about me, and sometimes it is about things I see.
Sometimes the things I see pertain to me.
The 114 pounds of this slender frame can’t hold you all up indefinitely.
The standards that were set have slipped down
And this saddens me infinitely.
We are made for better things than this, my loves.
We are supposed to be spiritually distinct.
I don’t appreciate being yelled at. I don’t appreciate being taken for granted.
I don’t want to be the one to tell everyone to be quiet, or help clean.
It is not my responsibility to remind you of what you should be already doing.
I don’t do these things for you to think better of me, dear youth.
This is my service to God. I do this out of love,
but when you don’t understand the extent or source of that love,
I no longer know what to say.
It is ok if not everyone is the best of friends.
We don’t have to be pals to be in service to the Cause.
I can’t always include everyone, no matter how hard I try.
We have to learn how to be ok with that.
Some bonds are forged over coffee,
but most of them are formed through service.
It is easy to forget what caused us to become so close in the first place.
Don’t minimize that.
I will not let the standards become lower.
We have come too far, with too much hard work, to let it come to that.
Will we become like the society around us?
We are Baha’i youth. Lets figure out how to act that way.
“Rejecting the low sights of mediocrity, let them [Bahá'í youth] scale the ascending heights of excellence in all they aspire to do. May they resolve to elevate the very atmosphere in which they move, whether it be in the school rooms or halls of higher learning, in their work, their recreation, their Bahá’í activity or social service.”
-The Universal House of Justice
March 10, 2005
I may actually be allergic to theological discussions.
Hear me out.
I was at our Baha’i Youth Desk meeting here at my house when some people started on a tangent about something. I don’t really know what they were saying, because as soon as they started on the tangent, I started sneezing uncontrollably. Not quiet little sneezes, either, but explosive ones that shook the couch. I ended up having to leave the room, at which time my sneezes stopped. This happened twice.
I currently have a cold, which is interesting because I always get a cold at this time of the year. I should just write it into my calendar.
“I have estimated the influence of Reason upon Love and found that it is like that of a raindrop upon the ocean, which makes one little mark upon the water’s face and disappears.” -Hafiz, Persian poet
I want to learn more about Iran.
PS: Congratulations to Myk & Lacey, who got engaged tonight. This is couple #6 that is getting married this summer out of people I know. In the majority of cases, I know both bride and groom. I’m happy for you two.
March 7, 2005
I feel a certain reticence in my speech right now. Last night Lindsey asked if I wanted gum…and I didn’t, because I didn’t have the energy to move my jaw. hmm.
The beautiful sun and warmth of yesterday was replaced with freezing rain today. I think we should protest. Or go on strike. Who’s with me?
(something I wrote last week)
It is easy to dismiss the impact of your words
when they are written, not spoken,
and the consequences are removed from your immediate sight.
You don’t want to acknowledge that you’re wrong.
And I don’t find it important enough to contradict or object.
March 3, 2005
If you don’t know Sarah L, orignally from in Minnesota but now residing on the East Coast, you totally wish you did. I will even give you examples:
Sarah: ugh, i am sick of england
Sarah: this is a problem, because it is the first of 4 countries i have to write about in this paper
Sarah: and also is by far my favorite
Sarah: ok, i’m skipping to france. at least things are funny there.
(a few minutes later)
Sarah: i’m already having more fun
Sarah: i actually had to leave the emo show because it was making me too sad
Sarah: haha, we should start a group chat called “worlddomination”
Sarah: or something
Sarah: i’m seeing potential here
Me: me too
Me: it would be fun
Sarah: I’ve just learned all about the components of a successful revolution
Sarah: in my latin american politics class
(conversation continues with discussions of who would be good to have on our team, etc. somehow we reach the following question.)
Sarah: so the question is
Sarah: do i want to download MSN in the name of world domination?
March 1, 2005
There was a man on the bus
who talked on his cell phone to an unseen face
explaining how to cook pork chops
(just salt, that is what I use. Or squeeze lemon!)
He talked about not having taken a vacation
in over two years.
The train conductor has a red beard and sunglasses
and a large silver earring.
As he collects tickets, he passes me several times.
He asks if I am writing him a letter, then says,
“I never get letters, just angry slurs.”
So many of these suburbs have little historical sites.
“Well #2, drilled 1924″
Europe and China would laugh at our youth.
I have seen two buildings that look like
The municipal buildings and town halls
all manage to look like funeral homes.
(white columns, red brick, and black iron lightposts)
I love my city…even the extended parts of it.