(my last visit to Bahji at the end of my service)

From amongst all mankind hath He chosen you, and your eyes have been opened to the light of guidance and your ears attuned to the music of the Company above; and blessed by abounding grace, your hearts and souls have been born into new life. Thank ye and praise ye God that the hand of infinite bestowals hath set upon your heads this gem-studded crown, this crown whose lustrous jewels will forever flash and sparkle down all the reaches of time.

…Raise ye a clamour like unto a roaring sea; like a prodigal cloud, rain down the grace of heaven. Lift up your voices and sing out the songs of the Abha Realm. Quench ye the fires of war, lift high the banners of peace, work for the oneness of humankind and remember that religion is the channel of love unto all peoples. Be ye aware that the children of men are sheep of God and He their loving Shepherd, that He careth tenderly for all His sheep and maketh them to feed in His own green pastures of grace and giveth them to drink from the wellspring of life. Such is the way of the Lord. Such are His bestowals. Such, from among His teachings, is His precept of the oneness of mankind.

(Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 34)

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Dear teenagers,

Please note that tights should not be worn as leggings, and leggings should not be worn as pants.

Also, slobbering all over each other in public is considered to be in poor taste.

Finally, your mother called, and she would like her 80s clothes back.  Especially the acid washed jeans and shoulder pads.

Sincerely,

me

(this is the result of way too much time spent at the mall in recent months)

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I now have a giant bruise on my leg that hurts every time I walk.  I didn’t get this bruise from hitting the ground too hard after skydiving, or from fending off a vicious bear.  I didn’t get it from a sword fight while saving the kingdom from evil, or from rescuing a child from a burning building.

I walked into a table.  Again.  With eyewitnesses, who winced at my pain but also laughed at me.  Thanks, guys.

There are times when I am graceful, and times when I am decidedly not.

Also, the other day I poured milk into my bowl of rice and stew, instead of into my coffee where it belonged.

I made a flan for my mother’s birthday the night before…and of course, forgot to put it out for her birthday.

I went to the pool, and forgot to take a towel.

I am young, and I am losing my mind. 

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This is not what I wanted
(words against the walls of my heart, burrowed under my skin)
I am trying and failing and trying…
I am strong until I come up against you

and I fail.

I fail to be silent in the right places

I fail to speak the right words.

I cannot reach the space where we are speaking the same language and can spend one day without this battle turning into a war.  There is no space for both of our words, and the pain we hold onto, and the

silence is better than anything.

My tears are all dried, my eyes heavy and the weight on my shoulders has added to itself, without even trying.  I speak in whispers so that the still moments are not broken and that maybe tonight we will sleep, even though we know that there are too many things left in the barricades between our minds and our hearts.

Mostly, I do not understand.

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Stars, you are unfortunate, I pity you,
Beautiful as you are, shining in your glory,
Who guide seafaring men through stress and peril
And have no recompense from gods or mortals,
Love you do not, nor do you know what love is.
Hours that are aeons urgently conducting
Your figures in a dance through the vast heaven,
What journey have you ended in this moment,
Since lingering in the arms of my beloved
I lost all memory of you and midnight.

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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This article on the Baha’i World News Service site is about the newest development with the long-suffering Baha’i community in Iran: reports have emerged that “…seven imprisoned Baha’is have been accused of espionage and other crimes and that their case will be referred to the Revolutionary Court…” These individuals, and other Baha’is who have been harassed, arrested, and jailed, have done nothing to merit such accusations.  They are being persecuted for their religious beliefs, as simple as that.  It might be hard to believe, especially if you have lived your entire life in a society that protects the freedom of religion, speech, and a myriad other human rights.  But this is a very real, and very dangerous, problem for the Baha’is in Iran.  Baha’is do not involve themselves in politics, as Ms. Ala’i, the Baha’i International Community representative to the United Nations in Geneva, points out:

“If the Baha’is are accused of spying for Israel, then why do they not hide their identity? Why were hundreds previously executed for refusing to recant their faith and embrace Islam? Why have thousands been deprived of their jobs, pensions, businesses and educational opportunities? Why have holy places, shrines and cemeteries been confiscated and demolished? All of this demonstrates a concerted attempt to destroy a religious community,” Ms. Ala’i said.

These recent developments have filled me with sadness, but I know that one of the things I can do is offer a prayer for these wonderful souls who are going through such suffering.  Regardless of whether you are a Baha’i or not, it would be greatly appreciated if you would consider saying a prayer for them.

Faded now is all that erstwhile flourished in the Paradise of Thy transcendent oneness, O my God! Where are the rain-giving clouds of Thy mercy? Shorn are the branches of the Tree of Thy unity of the vesture of Thy majesty and wisdom; where is the spring-time of Thy gifts and bounties? Motionless lies the Ark of Thy Cause on the sea of Thy creation; where are the winds of Thy grace and favors? Encompassed on every side is Thy Lamp by the tempests of discord blowing from every land; where is the globe of Thy graciousness and protection?

Thou seest, O my God, how the eyes of these poor creatures are bent upon the horizon of Thy riches, how the hearts of these helpless ones are set in the direction of Thy might. I beseech Thee, O Thou Who art the sole Desire of them that have recognized Thee, and the Object of the adoration of the entire creation, not to suffer them, now that Thou hast  attracted them by Thy most exalted Word, to be far removed from the Tabernacle which Thou hast reared up by Thy name, the All-Glorious.

They are sore pressed with cares, O my Lord, and are encompassed about by the wicked. Send down, therefore, from the heaven of Thy behest Thine invisible hosts, that, holding aloft the ensigns of Thy victory, they may help them in Thy land, and may shield them against Thine adversaries.

I entreat Thee, O my God, by Thy name through which the clouds have rained down their rain, and the streams have flowed, and the fire of Thy love hath been kindled throughout Thy dominion, to assist Thy servant who hath turned towards Thee, and hath spoken forth Thy praise, and determined to help Thee. Fortify, then, his heart, O my God, in Thy love and in Thy Faith. Better is this for him than all that hath been created on Thine earth, for the world and whatsoever is therein must perish, and what pertaineth unto Thee must endure as long as Thy most excellent names endure. By Thy Glory! Were the world to last as long as Thine own kingdom will last, to set their affections upon it would still be unseemly for such as have quaffed, from the hands of Thy mercy, the wine of Thy presence; how much more when they recognize its fleetingness and are persuaded of its transience. The chances that overtake it, and the changes to which all things pertaining unto it are continually subjected, attest its impermanence.

Whosoever hath recognized Thee will turn to none save Thee, and will seek from Thee naught else except Thyself. Thou art the sole Desire of the heart of him whose thoughts are fixed on Thee, and the highest Aspiration of whosoever is wholly devoted unto Thee.

No God is there beside Thee, the Almighty, the Help in Peril, the All-Glorious, the Most Powerful.

-Baha’u'llah

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Today was one of those days.  I was woken by a call from a dear friend who I haven’t spoken to in years.  She and I laughed and talked and agreed to meet this week for lunch.   While we talked I made rice, pot roast, and coffee.

Mom came home and insisted on going for a walk, since it was 61 degrees F outside (16 degrees C).  For February in Chicago, this is unheard of.  So of course we enjoyed the sunlight and I felt my spirits pick up.  Winter really does number on me.

I hung paintings around the house this afternoon, which is a bit of an ongoing project for me for several reasons.  First, we have lots of wall space.  Second, we have a lot of paintings, as my paternal grandparents were artists.  Finally, I tend to have a short attention span when it comes to decorating.  Sometimes I rotate paintings in the house for fun.  There is something satisfying about hammering nails into the framing boards of the paintings.

I spent the rest of the evening in the library, which is pretty much like heaven for me.  I think that the only thing that would make it better would be to attach an ice cream shop, and perhaps add a swimming pool…haha, well, in any case, I was very productive and that made me happy.

Finally, I want to share with you this quotation:

If a small number of people gather lovingly together, with absolute purity and sanctity, with their hearts free of the world, experiencing the emotions of the Kingdom and the powerful magnetic forces of the Divine, and being at one in their happy fellowship, that gathering will exert its influence over all the earth. The nature of that band of people, the words they speak, the deeds they do, will unleash the bestowals of Heaven, and provide a foretaste of eternal bliss. The hosts of the Company on high will defend them, and the angels of the Abha Paradise, in continuous succession, will come down to their aid.

-Abdu’l-Bahá

Posted in Baha'i, Personal | Comments (3)

I thought that those whispered words were enough,
that we could always eat blueberries at sunset
and our stories would sustain us.
you found me and lost me in moments
in between secrets and the alarm clock in the morning
maybe it was just not the right definition of perfect.

Today I smiled because of the cold air and because there is no reason not to smile. The snow still falls and everything still happens just like it should. I am still in love with the details of life and the grand plans of the universe and the way that a silk dress moves. I am this beautiful creation of power and movement and smallness and infinite everything (and so are all of you). My hands will hold children someday, my eyes will let down tears in the most heartbreaking way when I hear the right kind of music, my legs will carry me to distant lands, my mind will learn and teach, and my heart…oh, my heart will love and love and love (just like it always has).

I will and I am and there is something to be said for the silent moments at 3 am, something to be dreamt in the ways that right now holds meaning even if the stories are still being written, bound in books with glossy gold letters and the paper smell that good books are required by law to retain.

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Lately I’ve been seeing more music by artists who are Baha’is, and thought I’d share some with you.  Everyone has different taste in music, of course.   I know a lot of musicians, so I’m only going to highlight a few here.  Perhaps at one point I’ll get around to linking to everyone.

The Hidden Words – Nathan & Nabil Huening (songs available for download!) Great for devotionals.  The songs are based on The Hidden Words, which is a book of Writings by Baha’u'llah.

“This is that which hath descended from the realm of glory, uttered by the tongue of power and might, and revealed unto the Prophets of old. We have taken the inner essence thereof and clothed it in the garment of brevity, as a token of grace unto the righteous, that they may stand faithful unto the Covenant of God, may fulfill in their lives His trust, and in the realm of spirit obtain the gem of Divine virtue.”   (Baha’u'llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

Ellis&Knight – Vahid Ellis and Hayden Knight

“Ellis&Knight was formed in August of 2007, under the scorching Brazilian sun. Through travel and the Baha’i Faith, Vahid Ellis and Hayden Knight ended up as roommates in the Brazilian capital, and quickly realized that music was an inspiration they shared…Our first album entitled “Groundwork” will be out soon, and we hope that it will inspire people and offer something new to the world of music: a fusion of hip-hop, acoustic guitar, melodic vocals and thoughtful lyrics that blend and bring together diverse elements and styles.”

Everlasting Fire – Alessandro. You can download his album through Amazon or the iTunes store, and listen to a few full-length songs on Myspace.

“His love for music and the performing arts, his love for people of all races, creed and culture, his firm conviction that artists are essentially story tellers, whose tales should uplift the heart and call to the higher, noble nature of the human being, his vision for the future of this beautiful planet, – all these permeate this first recorded suite of Alessandro’s songs. They are offered with the hope that they may point the way to that quest for beauty that is at the heart of all human endeavor.”

Posted in Baha'i, Music | Comments (1)

Superbowl Sunday in the United States tends to be a day that people have parties, eat lots of junk food, and are glued to their flatscreen televisions to watch American football.

On Saturday night I went to a friend’s house for a lady’s night/sleepover.  It was fantastic, of course, and when we woke up this morning we made ourselves a feast of eggs, hash browns, and pancakes.

After spending a lazy Sunday around their apartment, we finally decided to get out of the apartment and get dinner.   As we drove down the street, Emily, Juliette, Sarah, and I realized that our plan was very different than everyone else’s.  We were going to Whole Foods, dressed quite nicely, and were going to watch “All About Eve”, a classic film.  Our dinner consisted of very healthy items, including fruit.  I know, crazy, right?

I must say that we managed to successfully avoid the testosterone-laden events of the day.  It really was not a planned thing, but I am very happy with the outcome.  Thank you, ladies.

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